Hearing what God says to us human is truly a privilege.The supernatural being, the creator of the universe, the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, and the unseen personality talking to us human. The unseen characteristic makes the conversation between God and human a private matter. I have never known anybody who has broadcast a recorded conversation between him or her with God, so other people could then verify if they truly hear from God.
We could hear so many voices in our head. I could hear at least two voices at subsequent time. And until today I had troubles differentiating whether it's my own inner voice talking to each other or the Almighty voice talking to me.
Luckily I have never heard God's voice telling me to do things not according to His Words. At the end of last year my emotion was unstable. I felt lonely, detached from friends at work and not in the mood of sharing anything to my few close friends. I happened to know that my previous group at work (some of them had resigned) had Christmas dinner together without me. I know it was only a simple matter, but at that time I felt it was such a big deal for me, because I enjoy talking with them and as far as I remembered I have no problem with them. I felt rejected and questioning myself. What was wrong with me that my favorite friends didn't want to hang out with me. I am asking God that question and was so sad.
That time I heard Him saying,"You should just be happy for them. I always love you no matter what."
Then slowly my insecurity start waning. Now it's okay with me, my self worth does not depend on other people's reception to me.
There are many other small occasion when I have a very good hunch that it was God's voice talking to me, telling me to be more patient, to give certain amount to the church, reminding me that my best investment was not in buying gold but in giving to my mom.
Hearing God's voice always give a peace mark in my heart, a warm feeling that makes me smile. Knowing it is my Father who loves me enough to speak to me.
Spending so many years at church, I always felt confused when some person who seemed so close to God could hear totally two opposite things. Sometimes I thought maybe they served different God, because God, You could not contradict yourselves right? I can never know any satisfactory answers. Anyway it was never be my business, who am I to judge?
Just like when Peter asking Jesus what would happen to John. And Jesus answered," If I want him to live until I come again, what's that to you? You-follow me."
My only concern is what I personally hear from God. I pray that I will always be able to differentiate the voice of my heart with the voice of my God. His voice is not loud. I could never be able to hear His voice in the midst of my tantrum and anger. Only after I calmed myself, His voice started to comfort me, giving new perspective in seeing things.
Continue speaking to me God. And please speak louder if my ear is too thick to hear Your voice.
Saturday, April 28, 2018
Sunday, April 8, 2018
The Last Lecture - A Book Review & Personal Reflection
So this is my first blog writing after 5 years dormant. I dedicate this first writing to a book review of "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch.
This is my first book I finished reading in 2018 out of around 20 books lying on my desk. Hopefully I can reduce the pile by half this year, so I could buy new books by the end of 2018.
I bought this book at Big Bad Wolf last April 2017. It was not too thick and I thought the content was interesting. It told a story of a dying professor. In August 2007, he was diagnosed of terminal pancreatic cancer and only got three to six months to live. At that time Mr. Pausch was only 47 years. He had a lovely wife, a girl of his dream, two boys age six and three, and a baby girl of just eighteen months. He was an award winning teacher and researcher, and from his book I got impression that he was a popular lecturer among his students.
The 206 pages of the book was his published final lecture. The title is "The Last Lecture - lessons in living". This was a dying professor gave lessons in living. Mr. Pausch or I would refer to him as Randy died on July 25th, 2008, around 11 months after the doctor told him that his last treatment did not work and he only got three to six months to live.
The book consist of six chapters. The first chapter talked about his decision to give his truly last lecture at his university. The last lecture took place on 17 September 2007. A decision that was first opposed by his wife due to his limited time. The second chapter detailed his childhood dreams and how in so many ways he managed to achieve his dreams.
Chapter three was about how he embraced his short live and all the lessons he had learned so far. The title of chapter four was "Enabling the dreams others". Chapter five consists of thirty practical wisdom of daily life, personal and work. The final chapter was about his dreams for his children and his love of his life. Randy's closing sentence in his last lecture was,"It was not about how to achieve your dreams. It's about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you."
If you only had a short time to live, what would you do? This question was written at the back cover of the book.
So my answer is, I will reflect - just like Randy did. I have tried to remember what was my childhood dreams. And to my surprise, I could not remember what my childhood dream was. The dream I finally recalled was at the second year of high school I wanted to be a psychiatrist. But I was not accepted in the medical faculty that I aimed. So I just dropped it. Then my next dream was to work in United Nation to help others. So far my career path and professional skill was so far from my dream job.
However, unlike Randy I still have time go after my dreams one way or the other. Nevertheless time is short and life is unpredictable. I still believe, just like Randy said that if I lead my life the right way, the karma - or I rephrase - God's destiny for me - will take care of itself. The dreams will come to me.
I bought this book at Big Bad Wolf last April 2017. It was not too thick and I thought the content was interesting. It told a story of a dying professor. In August 2007, he was diagnosed of terminal pancreatic cancer and only got three to six months to live. At that time Mr. Pausch was only 47 years. He had a lovely wife, a girl of his dream, two boys age six and three, and a baby girl of just eighteen months. He was an award winning teacher and researcher, and from his book I got impression that he was a popular lecturer among his students.
The 206 pages of the book was his published final lecture. The title is "The Last Lecture - lessons in living". This was a dying professor gave lessons in living. Mr. Pausch or I would refer to him as Randy died on July 25th, 2008, around 11 months after the doctor told him that his last treatment did not work and he only got three to six months to live.
The book consist of six chapters. The first chapter talked about his decision to give his truly last lecture at his university. The last lecture took place on 17 September 2007. A decision that was first opposed by his wife due to his limited time. The second chapter detailed his childhood dreams and how in so many ways he managed to achieve his dreams.
Chapter three was about how he embraced his short live and all the lessons he had learned so far. The title of chapter four was "Enabling the dreams others". Chapter five consists of thirty practical wisdom of daily life, personal and work. The final chapter was about his dreams for his children and his love of his life. Randy's closing sentence in his last lecture was,"It was not about how to achieve your dreams. It's about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you."
If you only had a short time to live, what would you do? This question was written at the back cover of the book.
So my answer is, I will reflect - just like Randy did. I have tried to remember what was my childhood dreams. And to my surprise, I could not remember what my childhood dream was. The dream I finally recalled was at the second year of high school I wanted to be a psychiatrist. But I was not accepted in the medical faculty that I aimed. So I just dropped it. Then my next dream was to work in United Nation to help others. So far my career path and professional skill was so far from my dream job.
However, unlike Randy I still have time go after my dreams one way or the other. Nevertheless time is short and life is unpredictable. I still believe, just like Randy said that if I lead my life the right way, the karma - or I rephrase - God's destiny for me - will take care of itself. The dreams will come to me.
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