Eulogy for My Dad

This blog writing is specially dedicated to my dad.  These are just a few things that I want to share about his life. My dad was a bit quiet, he wasn't the talkative type person. Sometimes a bit drawn back. Law was his passion. He could talk for hours about  any law topic as well as about his favourite politician, Gus Dur, the Indonesian most eccentric president.

My dad was a lawyer for 15 years before he became a notary public and  PPAT (official certifier of title deeds). A lawyer in my small town Mojokerto was not a profession with big income. He never chose his clients. He accepted any cases as long as the clients were legally right in his opinion. When dad decided to become notary public, it took him years to get his PPAT license, because he did not want to take shortcut.

Dad got stroke attack 18 years ago. It affected the left part of his body and his life changed tremendously after that. His temper could easily change because he could not move as easily as he used to be. However gradually he could accept his condition. He still continued his notary and PPAT practice until reaching his retirement age.

My dad had a generous and adventurous spirit. I remembered there was a middle-aged cake seller who liked to came by to our house every afternoon and then just sit at the back porch of our house as long as he liked. My dad always bought his cakes just for the sake of not let him go back empty handed. There was also an elderly Chinese man who became a reguler guest in our house. He would chat for hours with my dad and then dad would always give him some money before he went home. Even at the time dad did not feel well and did not want to meet him, dad always asked us to give his special guest some money.

Dad always love traveling. Every school holiday our family would travel by car to holiday places in central or west Java like Kopeng, Sarangan lake, Lembang. At the end of the year 2000, our family together with other relatives from my mom's sides were on the way to Bali to welcome the millenium year. That day we stucked in a very severe traffic jam on the way to Ketapang port Banyuwangi,  our cars did not move for hours. Finally we had to abandon our cars and took ojek, a motorcycle taxi to get us to a hotel in Ketapang to spend the night. That would be the first and the last time my dad experienced riding an ojek. With his limp leg, he got onto the motorcycle between the ojek driver and my cousin at the back. We reached the hotel almost midnight and thank God it was a very nice hotel. My mom was so relieved and thankful that my dad enjoyed the whole process and did not even complained during that tiring day.

In 2005 dad got second stroke attack, again at the left part of his body. His condition became weaker than before. Nevertheless dad never missed chances to join my mom's family reunion held every 2 years, whether it was held in Puncak, Solo and the last one in Trawas. In March 2011 he attended my cousin's wedding in Solo, 4 hours drive by car and enjoyed culinary tour there.

Even after 2 stroke attacks, my dad still had a very good memory. He remembered places and people that the rest of us had forgotten. He had a good sense of humour. Every time I called him, he  liked to make a jog about his accupuncture doctor, who also happened to be a vet. With his condition my dad did not demand too much. He allowed mom to go out of town for seminar or other purpose either for one day or several days.

I have never heard dad complained to God why he had to endure his circumstance or why he was not healed after so many prayers. His relation to God grew during the 18 years living with stroke. One of my greatest joy was seeing him lifting his hand worshipping God.

Both my mom and dad celebrated birthday in November, just 4 days apart. At that time me and my siblings had already decided birthday gift for my mom. As for dad, my youngest brother suggested to buy him a more sophisticated wheelchair, but his older brother disagreed. He said we still believed for dad's complete healing, so why we gave him wheelchair. Hence we still undecided what to give dad on his birthday.

Thursday 24 November 2011 was my mom's birthday. I called her early in the morning to wish her the best. I asked for dad but he was still asleep and I didn't want to wake him...so I missed talking to him that day...one of the biggest regret I had to live with.

In the evening mom, dad and my brother were going to have dinner together in our family room to celebrate mom's birthday. The distance between my parent's bed to the dining table was around 2 meter. My dad decided to walk out the  room using his walking stick. He seemed to force himself but still refused my brother's offer to use wheelchair. By the time dad managed to sit at his usual chair, his body limped and my brother rushed him back to the bedroom. Mom gave him the pills to relieve the possible heart attack but it couldn't help as my dad had seizure.


Still holding my mom's hand tightly, that evening my dad went home to heaven.


Dad, thank you for showing us how to be fully alive despite of our limitations. 
To show us the greatest value in life is not about money..but about integrity, kindness, love
Always so proud to have you as my father
Enjoy your days in heaven dad...until we meet again...


A good name is to be more desired than great wealth,
Favor is better than silver and gold (Proverb 22:1 - NASB)